MARRIAGE AND MONEY

MONEY HAS A WAY OF BEING one of the "hot topics" in any marriage. The very first recommendation is to work together when it comes to money matters. Most couples start out together on the same money level. (NONE) If this is the case, talk to each other and learn the MONEY habits of each. For instance, I was a "tight-wad" and my second husband had money "burn" a hole in his pocket. Didn't take long at all to figure that one out. Both of us had to adjust and come to terms and reach the middle of compromising to get any where when it came to money. I had owned 2 houses in my first marriage and he had never owned a house in his lifetime. We both worked (he was against this saying it wasn't necessary, but I had two children from the first marriage who had needs). We opened a checking account and had our pays automatically deposited each week or two. We always sat down each week (weekly) and put our bills on the table and balanced the checkbook being aware of what was there and what needed to be paid. We went grocery shopping and Wally world shopping together. (He pushed the cart cause it held him up).
THERE WILL ALWAYS BE OPPOSITES when it comes to peoples demur; one is quiet while the other is out-spoken. Believe this is usually a good combination for people to be able to compromise, but that's just a guess. The main point is , use these characteristics to establish your "marriage" money habits. Be yourself but open up to each other and always be willing to know what's going on where the money is concerned. Women tend to say they really don't want to be bothered with complicated issues such as paying bills. But when or if something happens to the better half, that's exactly what's going to happen anyway. And how can that be done successfully if she's unaware of what there is or how to handle it. There are men who cop out and say they aren't good with money and let the wife take care of this and keep the checkbook. Again, this tends to create other bad money issues, and you both have a marriage which is a "BUSINESS" in itself. So keep it real and do all of it together. Times have changed since our grandparents days and keeping each other on the same level will work if we let the other know what's going on and how to handle every money situation.
WORKING MONEY PROBLEMS OUT BY YOURSELF usually leads to ulcers. Share the problem so then you both can have ulcers. Don't think that will happen, but try it and see. We've been raised to be private and money issues are about as private as anyone really wants to be, except with the spouse. Keeping your inner thoughts private about certain situations concerning money problems is o.k., saving an argument, but not keeping the issue from the other. This is one area each should be open with each other. For instance, if you lose your job, don't wait three weeks later when you're denied unemployment because you quit your job to let her/him know. That's really quite stressful and will help to create a second persons ulcers. Or there's a loan you took out without letting the other person know about and you don't have the money that's over-due. These type of things can only add to the frustration of an already complex situation just dealing with every day issues. These are some examples of training yourselves in handling your money. Previous training undoubtedly would make this a whole lot easier once you do get married, but again only in a perfect world "NOT".